Life Goes On

It seems that even though there are times we can't imagine how it happens, life does go on. I find it hard to believe sometimes that it has been 3 and 1/2 years since my original diagnosis. How have I managed to get through that many days? How have I continued to put one foot in front of the other? And how do other people do it?

My sister-in-law is an 8 year Breast Cancer Survivor. She was a huge help to me when I was diagnosed. She has 2 boys ages 10 and 12 years. She is married to my younger brother. She was just diagnosed with a Sarcomatoid Carcinoma in her other breast. How does life go on? This weekend my brother and the 2 boys went to visit my Mom and I took my daughter over too so we could all be together. In the midst of this was the graduation of my older brother's daughter. Also my first visit with my great niece who is 6 months old. To say there was a lot going on in my head and my heart is to put it mildly.

But on we all went. The cousins played and had fun. We spent too much money and time at the local amusement park, but the kids really had a great time. We did mini-golf and drove go-carts. We went to the drive-in movies and ate M&M's and popcorn. We had a Graduation party and went swimming and the kids caught fish in nets off the dock. I held my great niece and got her to laugh, not that hard to do since she is perhaps the happiest baby I've ever met. A product of a young unmarried couple who are happy together and surrounded by a large extended family that adore this baby, and it shows. That baby is always being held by someone who loves her and I am fortunate to be one of those people.

I went to church with my brother and his oldest son. I was overwhelmed after communion with a sense of what, I don't know. I watched my brother as he frequently excused himself discreetly to text, or call, or email his wife. I prayed and hoped and tried to believe for the best every night. I went for a couple runs with my brother (or I'll say I tried to keep up with him while he ran) and listened, letting him lead the conversation to talk about cancer or not. I tried to just be there. And it's harder than you might think. Especially when it seems at times impossible to separate my own feelings about myself from his feelings about his situation.

The good news that I heard tonight is that a bone scan and CT scan showed no other disease in my sister-in-law's body. Thank God for that. She will have a mastectomy on Thursday. Then we will see what happens from there. But regardless of what happens medically there are some things I know will happen. She will go to work and walk the dog and make the meals and go to the pool with her sons and sit on the patio with her husband. They will go to church and mow the lawn and have cook-outs and ride their bikes. They will carry on as we all do. What other choice is there? Life does go on.