It is a bible verse many of us are aware of, have heard before, in passing if not in Church, whether or not we are religious. I am speaking of Psalm 118:24, "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." You may know a slightly different version, but all have the same basic meaning for me: We have today, make the most of it, be happy, find joy, make the choice.
My latest attempt at reconciling my life post-cancer lies in this bible verse. I try to wake up every day and say to myself, "This Is The Day". I have written about how at times that has felt like pressure to me. I often feel like it means I have to do something amazing and earth-shattering today, some thing that will change the world and positively impact at the very least me and my family and friends. There are many similar ideas along the lines of "This Is The Day" such as "living in the moment" or "living each day as if it were your last" or "living your life to the fullest". They all seem to conjure up that same pressure and anxiety in me, like, I'm wasting my time here, I need to do something else, something big and do it now, but I don't know what that thing is. My mind says, "Well it can't possibly be laundry, dishes and scooping dog poop in the back yard." I mean how can this day be great if I am hounding my daughter to clean the guinea pig cage or get her chores done? How can it be a great day if I am cleaning the toilets or weeding the flower beds?
I have decided that it can still be a great day if I make the choice to feel that way about it. Doing all those daily chores and more can be part of a great day. I am taking care of my home, my family and myself. Chores, yes, even scooping dog poop, can be part of the equation. It is about balance, something that often feels very elusive to me, especially post-cancer. Also there is the much needed attitude adjustment. Instead of throwing myself a daily "pity-party" I can realize how great my life is, how lucky I am and be grateful. I am lucky I have a daughter who has a guinea pig that she loves and cares for, even if she needs some prodding. I am lucky to spend time with my daughter each day, even if I have to share our time with the guinea pig, if it is important to her that is what matters.
I get to choose how I respond to the things that happen moment to moment in my life. And by making a choice about my reaction to life I can help control my life, at least those few things we have control over. I DO have control over how I react and relate. I CAN decide to look at the glass half-full. I CAN decide not to fall in the same emotional holes in the sidewalk of my life. It takes work, it takes hard work, but what are the options? Being stuck, feeling angry and sad and letting those negative emotions control me? Of course I get angry and sad and anxious. A full range of emotions is important in my opinion.
But I can try my best to help myself out of the negative emotions. I can remind myself that "This Is The Day". I have this day, it is a gift, I can do with it what I want. I have some limitations, some parameters. I live with other people whom I love and therefore they come into the equation of what I will do with my gift of this day. I may make plans for the future but I can not live for the future. But I can also decide to not live frivolously without thought. It is the balancing act. What do I want? How do my loved ones fit in? Who needs my help? How do I help myself? What can I do that makes me feel good, brings me peace and joy? Do the work and take the time and make the choice and forgive yourself when you make a mistake. We are only human and we are doing our best.
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Wonderfully written, Debbie.
ReplyDeleteI like the verse too. To me, it suggests that, we do not need a special day to remember, display, or act on our personal, religious and emotional impulses; every day is special because it marks a new beginning, a new dawn in our lives.
I like your quote, where you say, "I have decided that it can still be a great day if I make the choice to feel that way about it." It immediately reminded me of a quote
of The Dalai Lama, where he says, "The purpose of our lives is to be happy. I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe."
Judging the universe, or anyone for that matter makes us critical of them. Over time, this critique becomes second nature to us, we subconsciously allow our mind to wander about, finding faults in everything.
You know how I'm blessed to have met and inspired by Mother Teresa in my younger days. So every time, I attempt to judge anything, I silently rebuke myself and dotingly remember her loving advice, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
Amazingly, the mere remembrance of those words, gets rid of the bad feelings and makes my heart fill up with love and gratitude.
What I find so positive about this blog is how you find happiness in enjoying participating in your daily activities. A true reflection of bring faithful in small things because it is in them that your happiness and strength lies.
When you enjoy life with love and happiness, it not only makes everything around you more bright, but also allows you to go easy on yourself, more forgiving.
Congratulations again, on a wonderful, positive blog. :)
Such a wonderful post Debbie - I thoroughly enjoyed reading it..and you know everytime I read or hear that word choice I think of you. And gratitude of course! This IS the day the Lord has made..let us all rejoice and be grateful for a new day with new opportunities and chances to start again.
ReplyDeleteYou chose one of my favorite psalms. This particular psalm has meant a great deal to me for years. Thanks so much for letting that meditation filter into your being. That is a gift.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deb.
Love,
me
Debbie, what a beautiful, well written blog! Another thing you can put on your list of what you do really well. You are inspirational! I love that verse, This is the day that the Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it. The tone of this blog is showing tremendous growth. Thank you for the reminder that the pitty party is really of no benefit. I have been on one lately because of how fatigued I have been feeling and don't feel like doing much.
ReplyDeleteBreast cancer or not tomorrow is promised to no one so we must celebrate today! Blessings and hugs. Luann
I thoroughly enjoyed that. That quote really does seem to leave me feeling pressure. I like your take on it. Thank you!
ReplyDelete-Lauren (www.BreastCancerRegistry.org)
Debbie,
ReplyDeleteI, too, feel that post cancer pressure. Sometimes it's pressure to eat well, get enough sleep, & not do anything that will harm my immune system and leave me vulnerable to a recurrence of breast cancer. I sometimes think I'm doing my immune system more harm by fretting so, than I could by eating all the cheeseburgers and chocolate cookies in the world. I used to hesitate, when making long range plans--will I be healthy then, alive even--but I'm doing much better at surrendering those jarring thoughts.
Our post cancer "new normal" is fraught with hesitation and worry as we try and figure out just what that new normal is. As you reminded us with Psalms 118:24, we should at least be grateful and rejoice we are here, for "here" is all we know.
Love,
Brenda
Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I am still working on taking it "this one day" at a time and staying in that day and enjoying it as much as possible. It does not have to be climbing mountains it can be a soak in the tub or a nice talk with my daughter or a cuddle in bed with my hubby while we watch a movie, these are the mountain tops for me:)
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