Four years ago today I was one week out of my first chemo treatment and had just shopped for a fake breast and mastectomy bra. I was in shock, yet aware that it was very good to be celebrating my 42nd birthday.
Two years ago I had just recovered physically from my second CT guided biopsy of my vertebra and was preparing mentally and emotionally for a new course of treatment. I was still in shock from being diagnosed with Metastatic Cancer. Yet once again, on some level, I knew that celebrating a birthday was good.
To be celebrating meant I was still here. I was still moving forward. Time was moving forward and I was getting through another day, another week, another month, another year. I must be doing something right, I must be fighting well cause I was still here.
Next week I will head to Dana Farber for my 3 month visit. I will get a shot of Lupron, an infusion of Zometa and some blood work. It is always a bit odd to make that trip and go through those motions that remind me of where I have been over the past 4 years. Today I am less in shock, but I wouldn't say that the strange feeling of surprise or disbelief that I have really gone through everything I have gone through over the past 4 years has gone away, it sneaks up on me at times.
But today as I turn 46 I will be celebrating again, with more awareness than ever of how great it is to be celebrating my birthday.
I am in the midst of creating a new life for myself. I am finding myself on the new path, this new journey. I know that the expression 'finding yourself' may get a bad rap but that is a pretty exact way to express what I feel I am going through. I am getting to the real me, the truth. I am open to the possibilities. I am grateful to be where I am right now. I am grateful that there is much more to my journey ahead.
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Love you.
ReplyDeleteThat is all:)
Jody
Debbie, I felt much the same way on my birthday earlier this month. It's unbelievable in some ways the path we have been thrown onto. At the same time, there are a few "scenic spots" along the way. Every birthday really is a time to celebrate and appreciate still being here. Happy 46th!!! And good luck next week!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Debbie and there will be many , many more for you to celebrate. For us that are survivors we celebrate our Birthdays knowing that we have made it through another year and look forward to the next one.
ReplyDeleteSpecial Birthday wishes for you.
Jill.
Wishing you a lovely birthday. And many more.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, it's difficult at times to face the realities of our lives. Scans, shots, blood work, whatever. It's different for everyone, but the same, it reminds us we are still here and we plan on staying here. That's the important thing. Celebrate with all your mighty might. I'll be turning 47 soon enough, right behind you. Cake for everyone.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for you sweet support! I'll be eating cake tonight in honor of us all! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is my second year "celebrating" your birthday and I hope you and I will celebrate many many more. For you dear Deb a special poem (you know how I love me my poetry!)
ReplyDeleteA Birthday Poem for Debbie
MY heart is like a singing bird
Whose nest is in a water’d shoot;
My heart is like an apple-tree
Whose boughs are bent with thick-set fruit;
My heart is like a rainbow shell
That paddles in a halcyon sea;
My heart is gladder than all these,
Because my love is come to me.
Raise me a daïs of silk and down;
Hang it with vair and purple dyes;
Carve it in doves and pomegranates,
And peacocks with a hundred eyes;
Work it in gold and silver grapes,
In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys;
Because the birthday of my life
Is come, my love is come to me.
Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)
I hope you had a glorious day with a big piece of cake (or 2!). Good luck next week.
ReplyDeleteDear Marie, thank you so much for the sweet poem you posted here, you are turning me into a poetry lover I have to say! Not that I didn't love it but never read it much before I met you:) Someday we will celebrate in person!
ReplyDeleteXOXOX Deb
Cynthia, I did have 2 pieces of cake yesterday! Scandalous and decadent but so lovely:)Thanks for your support:)
Happy Birthday to you!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Debbie!
Happy Birthday to you!
Sent all the way from Charlotte, NC with lots of love!
Thanks for the sweet serenade Luann! Hope Charlotte, NC is being good to you!
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday, Debbie!!! I am so inspired by your story. Today is my daughter's 12 birthday and I am so blessed to be here and sharing it with her after being diagnosed with stage IV BC three years ago.
ReplyDeleteI would love to share it on my blog, Miracle Survivors. I'll be in touch.
Thanks Tami, And Happy Birthday to your daughter and husband! I just read your post on your blog and it sounds like you had such an amazing day! I am so glad you were able to celebrate and here is to many, many more birthday celebrations for us and our loved ones! Please do contact me, I would love to share my story on your blog.
ReplyDeleteHi Debbie -
ReplyDeleteIts so nice to come across your blog when you've posted such a beautiful birthday celebration! I want to let you know that your blog has been included in the Navigating Cancer Blog Directory, and we appreciate all that you've shared with the cancer community. Thank you! Here is the link for you to view the directory
http://www.navigatingcancer.com/cancer/breast/blogs
Wishing you many years of happiness and good health Debbie!
Sincerely,
Becky Walker
Navigating Cancer
Debbie, I'm a little late in wishing you happy birthday, but here's to hoping that year 46 is a much, much better year! God bless ya and hang tough! :-) Lisa
ReplyDeleteHi Becky and Lisa,
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and reading and commenting! I really appreciate the support from the blogging community!